ELECTRON TASK FORCE DENJIMAN
a.k.a
Denshi Sentai Denjiman

~1980 Toei Movie~

Sentai shows can often be the straw that breaks the camels back. There is a thin line between your friends knowing you as the curious fellow that watches Japanese superhero shows at night, and gaining notoriety as the frightening hermit who watches Power Rangers and steals ice cream from babies. It’s a case of misunderstanding in the most “Three’s Company” of ways possible. Your friend walks in as you wrap up a lengthy episode of Gaoranger, throws his Lunchable into the air in horror and proceeds to scream, “You’re watching Power Rangers!?”. Try as you might to wipe the sweat from your concerned brow, it’s futile to nerdily explain that this is actually the original 2001 Japanese sentai show Hundred Beast Task Force Gaoranger. It’s too late, and too many innocent people have already been hurt. You are now resigned to your fate and you might as well watch more Sentai shows.

Accepting my future as a basement dwelling buffoon, I hastily popped in the 1980 theatrical film of the Denjiman TV show, which ran from 1980-81. I had never seen a second of Denjiman prior to watching this movie, which premiered in Japan playing before films like Disney’s Snow White. It didn’t matter that I had no background knowledge of the series, because right as the opening theme started blasting I saw Kenji Ohba as none other than Denji Blue.

I don’t need to write a paragraph about Kenji Ohba, and I really shouldn’t. If I wasn’t sitting here alone, then maybe someone might come in and stop me, splash water in my face and slap me to my senses. “You’re a man, Joseph! Men don’t write paragraphs about other men, that’s crooked journalism. Don’t do it!” I may be a man, but Kenji Ohba is Kenji Ohba, the king of cool, Space Sheriff Gavan himself. You may even remember his brief scene with Sonny Chiba in Kill Bill vol. 1. He’s just as cool in Denjiman, and his eyebrows own at least half of the screen at any given moment. But no, I will resist writing a paragraph about Kenji Ohba, I’ve got a movie to talk about.

Instead of boring everyone with my useless thoughts on the Denjiman movie, I hit up my pal Wes Black (aka Kikaida on the KFCC message boards) and we both popped in our copies and proceeded to undertake a task of even less use: the first ever Full Metal Tracksuit commentary! There's no good way to go about this. You can't realistically watch the movie while you read the commentary. So just sit back and read our reactions to this tour de force of cinema. I should also mention that the retarded and immature opinions expressed in this commentary in no way reflect those of Kung Fu Cult Cinema. Enjoy!

Full Metal Tracksuit Presents:
The Denjiman Film Commentary

by Joseph Luster & Wes Black

Wes: Daaaaaa daaaaaaaaa da daaaaaaaaa!
Joseph & Wes: Den Denjiman!
Joseph: This is the best opening ever. We say that about everything...
Wes: Who is crying far away?
Joseph: ...but Denjiman is really special.
Wes: KENJI!
Joseph: KENJI OHBA!
Joseph: A god among men.
Wes: Nice flip over that car. Ha ha.
Joseph: I love the running shot!
Wes: That's classic.
Joseph: Slomo cheesiness. I wet myself already.
Wes: Denjiiiiiiiimaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
Joseph: Have you ever noticed how many explosions are in these shows?
Wes: Mucho.
Joseph: Wow, that's the coolest shot ever.
Wes: Damn.
Joseph: We might fill this whole commentary talking about the opening credits.
Wes: Ha ha.
Joseph: But it's like a party in my mouth.
Wes: Transforming robot!
Joseph: Oh no, wait, those are donut holes.
Wes & Joseph: This is actually the first Sentai show with a transforming robot / Was this the first Super Sentai show? I think I read that, and by that I mean first with a transforming robot.

Joseph: Ha ha, nerd jinx!
Wes: Yeah, ha ha.
Joseph: Holy crap, this is already brutal. So this giant angler fish just ate some swimmers.
Wes: The first half of this movie is the Sentai version of a Roger Corman monster beach party flick.
Joseph: (Im talking to our readers, Wes). Complete with Kenji Ohba in speedos soon.
Wes: Yes, oh yes.
Joseph: The vehicles in this show are gravy, sexy blue and white.
Wes: This is also the first sentai show where they wear the now familar goggles. So that's two big ground breaking events in Super Sentai history.
Joseph: Well arent you just the tokusatsu Bey Logan? Gotta love their helmets with the visible brain circuits
Wes: Ha ha. I read up on the show while munching on tater tots.
Joseph: I'm almost ashamed to admit how much I love Sentai shows now. "It hides in the sea".
Wes: I haven't left the house in a week, just been watching Sentai, baby. Whoa!
Joseph: I haven't left my room unless you count peeing. This part of the movie is messed up.
Wes: That child falling into the darkness.
Joseph: Check out her phone cover!
Wes: Looks like it's wearing panties.
Joseph: It was all frilly. I'm like the fab five of commentaries. "Look at the atrocious lack of feng shui in their house".
Wes: Ha ha.
Wes & Joseph: BEACH PARTY!!
Joseph: Oh man, I'm too young to be watching this. Ha ha ha.
Wes: This is so awesome.
Joseph: Look how they dance.
Wes: With the tilt-o-whirl cam.

Joseph: Kenji in speedos leaves a mark on my impressionable young mind.
Wes: I'd be a proud gay man if I saw that as a child.
Joseph: I imagine. The badguy drones or whatever term you would use in this show are awesome. With the half skeleton costumes.
Wes: Badguy drones works. Love the henchmen's costumes.
Joseph: Yeah. I'll tell you one of my favorite things about Tokusatsu, the way everyone casually hangs out with monsters.
Wes: Oh yeah.
Joseph: Especially in Kikaida.
Wes: Big ugly fish beast in the room and nobody notices him. Monsters just chill around town in Kikaida.
Joseph: Is magnet the right translation for Denjiman? I don't trust HK subs. They take advantage of my being naive in the language of Dai Nippon.
Wes: I thinks it's Electron.
Joseph: This is the crazy dream sequence.
Wes: I like the Message from Space-esque ship here.
Joseph: I want to marry this show right after my hitch with the Toei logo is annulled.
Wes: I'll take the sloppy seconds that is the Toei logo. Some great stuff coming up here.
Joseph: Our motto for our commentary series will be "No redeeming qualities! Enjoy!"
Wes: YES.
Joseph: This is freaky.
Wes: Here it comes...
Joseph: Hold me.
Wes: Can I?
Joseph: I insist.
Wes: NOOOOO!
Joseph: Ahhhh!
Joseph: Here comes Denjiman to the rescue! They're totally trashing this little girls room.
Wes: Red always kicks the ass.
Joseph: Yeah, he's my hero.
Wes: Nice acrobatic display for no reason by the drones. Oh man, forward shot reverse, forward shot reverse. That ship is HUGE!
Wes: And now so is the fish beast.
Joseph: Is this the one long sentai movie or is it like 30 minutes long?
Wes: This is so great. It's like 30.
Joseph: Oh cool, too short for my blood though.
Wes: It's an epic.
Joseph: If it was longer, then everyones heads would burst whether they were watching it or not.
Wes: Ha ha.

Joseph: This scene is touching.
Wes: I'm teary eyed.
Joseph: Oh yeah, let's talk about Denjiman's dog, IC.
Wes: The talking robot dog from space.
Joseph: This is the funniest thing about the show, that dog is so innocent looking. Cavemen!
Wes: The Sentai shows always seem to have some talking animal.
Joseph: So I think the part coming up when they reenact all those movie genres was way above me. Were those clips from an old show?
Wes: I think so.
Joseph: How random. Den-Denjiman!
Wes: Just the team reminiscing.
Joseph: I love how he selects all the rangers. He flashes his pearly eyes at them...
Wes: How the dog blasts the joint with his eyes.
Joseph: ...and consequently scares the bejesus out of the audience
Wes: That's too cool. Flashback time, aka fill time with an old episode.
Joseph: That jeep is amazing. Second only to Gavan's Suzuki Samurai.
Wes: Yeah. This part is classic.
Joseph: I took like 18 screenshots for this article but its still not enough.
Wes: The monster with a camera for a head.
Joseph: The western scene.
Wes: Kenji rocks with the gun...just awesome.
Joseph: I must own this series. I think I might have a baby, and then sell it on the black market just for a copy.
Wes: For those 3 people reading, if you have this series I'll take it in any form. Kenji tearing it up with the katana now.
Joseph: You're being too generous, and if you count both our moms there's only 2 people reading. Football time.
Wes: Kenji has to do a triple back flip to catch the ball.
Joseph: I think in the end we're just going to anger our audience by talking about such a fantastic show that they're not watching.
Wes: Ah screw'em. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.
Joseph: "Aren't you an electric dog? Compose yourself!" That ship is so cool, the Message from Space ship you mentioned.
Wes: Yeah, it's great. I can't say enough about the coolness of that ship.
Joseph: Double pirate ship. It manages to be both master and commander.
Wes: Ishinomori, who created the whole Sentai genre, actually worked on the Message from Space TV show. A little useless triva for ya.

Joseph: There was a TV show?
Wes: Yeah, it starred Hiroyuki Sanada. No Chiba or Fukasaku involved though.
Joseph: You're really showing me up with your knowledge, but I'll change all that when I edit this.
Wes: Ha ha.
Joseph: All your lines will be, "Deerrrrrrr".
Wes: Ha ha.
Joseph: Damn, this backstory is intense.
Joseph & Wes: The princess is hot too / The princess is hot though.
Wes: Nerd jinx.
Joseph: Damn you!
Joseph: The cryptic dorkiness of our commentaries alarms me.
Wes: I told you, in a few years it will be a fight to the death over some hentai model kits. Our fate is sealed, just roll with it.
Joseph: We have to stop going to eBay at the same time. Back to the present time. Why is pink the only one in costume?
Wes: Kenji's shirt and pants are great.
Joseph: Looks like they played a joke on her. "Hey, come in costume, we'll all be ready to go (sucker!)".
Wes: Don't listen, its a trick!
Joseph: That girl's dog is so cute I wanna squeeze it until it multiplies like a Mogwai.
Wes: It is cute, i'll give you that...kill me.
Joseph: Not unless I'm comin with you.
Wes: Pink ain't too bad either.
Joseph: Are there two female rangers here?
Wes: I dont..know
Joseph: Oh, sorry Bey. I thought you were on top of your game.
Wes: Honestly, that skirt and the boots are awesome.
Joseph: Holy!
Wes: This is all great stuff, I love these sentai movies.

Joseph: How'd they trap pink like that? I'm obsessed. At this point I'll take em subbed, unsubbed, with or without pickles, I just want 'em.
Wes: Me too. So readers please, help us find more of these.
Joseph: I like how they bought all the Denjiman toys...the badguys I mean.
Wes: That's classic.
Joseph: Oh crap! Missiles carted around on dollys! That's dangerous! Bwahaha!
Wes: Daaaaa da da daaaaa!
Joseph: Those boats Denjiman has are amazing.
Joseph & Wes: Den-Denjiman, Den-Denji man.
Joseph: This scene must have cost half the budget. I always assume boat fight scenes like this are rough to film.
Wes: In the series, they have this thing called the Denjicraft, but it looks like they didnt whip it out for the movie.
Joseph: Oh but they whipped all the rest out and flopped it on the table. That was a horrible analogy, remind me to take that out, ha ha.
Wes: Ha ha ha ha! You have to keep that in.
Joseph: AAAAAAANGGUURRRRAAAA!!
Wes: Denji Redu!
Joseph: Denji Redo, Denji Bloo, Denji Yellow, Denji Green, Denji Pink!
Wes: I love this song.
Joseph: Whoa!
Wes: I listen to it in my car all the time.
Joseph: That was some Duel to the Death type stuff.
Wes: Ha ha, yeah.
Joseph: That was the movie right?
Wes: Yeah, with them fighting out on the cliff.
Joseph: Oh, I'm thinking of something else.
Wes: By the ocean with the ninjas?
Joseph: A movie where these ninjas climb on eachother and form a giant ninja.
Wes: Yeah, that's it.
Joseph: Ha ha ha!

Wes: With Norman Tsui.
Joseph: I can't believe that's in that movie.
Joseph & Wes: Blueeee SNAKE!
Joseph: Ha ha, their special moves are a riot.
Wes: The blue cat is awesome.
Wes & Joseph: Denji Punch!!!
Joseph: At this point we might as well just be one giant person, Wes.
Wes: Form like a giant robot.
Joseph: Denji TOWAA!!
Wes: Du da duuuuuuu da!
Joseph: I have way too much fun doing this...uniformly uninforming the masses.
Wes: Major explosions here.
Joseph: I counted almost a dozen, wow!
Wes: Big pyro budget on this, haha.
Joseph: I swear this is the same shot in Gavan.
Wes: That darn electic dog.
Joseph: Ha ha ha, IC the dog pilots the ship.
Wes: That shot probably was in Gavan.
Joseph: The Shogun is an amazing villain. Where would Tokusatsu be if you couldn't reverse camera shots?
Wes: Toei is big on the stock footage and using music from show to show.
Joseph: Dairanger uses a rip off of the Star Wars Imperial March as the evil theme!
Wes: Really? That's great.
Joseph: It's phenomenal, there's no mistaking it.
Wes: Sun Vulcan has that Darth Vader look alike.
Joseph: My dog just farted again, but it smells like Arby's Chicken Strips so I'm cool with it. My dog is certainly no IC the Denji dog, though.
Wes: WHOA! It's the giant robo! The first in Sentai history for the Sentai triva nerds.
Joseph: And it's one rad robo! We should probably thank the genius who runs Sentai Sanctorum for a lot of our insightful facts at some point (www.rovang.org/sentai/).
Wes: Yeah, them and www.supersentai.com.
Joseph: I'll go ahead and shoutout Japan Hero too (www.japanhero.com).

Wes: FULL MOON CUT!!!
Joseph: That was a killer finishing move.
Wes: Japan Hero is lots of help. Aww, mother and daughter reunited.
Joseph: Mama!
Wes: I'm crying.
Joseph: Who's that haggard hobo hangin' with Denjiman?
Wes: Ha ha.
Joseph: He's taggin' along moochin' off Kenji's badassery.
Wes: Kenji is ultra smooth in his blue silk puffy sleeved shirt and tight fitting white pants.
Joseph: Truly. Oh, this is where they finally see the Denji Princess.
Wes: The hair, the brows...
Joseph: Kenji's brows will be on my wall one day.
Wes: Bye! Thank you for being hot, Princess.
Joseph: "Here's a rainbow!"
Wes: In my pants...ok cut that one out.
Joseph: No way, I'm keeping it all in now. "Denjiman: daring to be different".
Wes: Ha ha.
Joseph: All in all, I'd give this movie two snaps and an around the world.
Wes: Ha ha. Giant Sailor went back to the deep universe again.
Joseph: Whoa!
Wes: Those brows are a force of there own.
Joseph: I think I learned something valuable from this movie!
Wes: Me too.
Joseph: Oh wait, no. I just peed myself.
Wes: That's too bad that you couldn't learn from this important film.

Special thanks to everyone who toughed it out and read this commentary! There will be more to come in the future, and as for what's next in the column: Space Sheriff Shaider!

---

Joseph Luster
Wes Black
01/30/2004