Review: This movie is cool.

Well……at least that's what this movie tries arduously to accomplish. Boy does it fail. I can picture the "creative" geniuses behind this film thinking up its premise.

Guy#1: You know what'd be ultra cool for a movie?
Guy#2: No, what?
Guy#1: A movie that features two of the hottest Hong Kong stars as good guys with a really hot Japanese girl along with a really cool villian! And we'll have some amazing action scenes that'll rock the audience like fighting on a piece of glass thirty-stories high!
Guy#1: Whoa, that sounds awesome!
Guy#2: It can be the first REAL international Asian film! They can speak Mandarin, Cantonese, Japanese, and English!
Guy#1: Yes! I'm pumped up!
Guy#2: Quick! Who can we cast?!
Guy#1: I don't know, but I know we HAVE to get Coolio to be in this movie and provide the soundtrack!
Guy#2: Sounds good! Let's go make a movie!

It may sound like I'm being harsh on this film, but in all honesty, "China Strike Force" is a sloppy, nasty, festering pile of steaming giraffe crap. You'd think putting Aaron "Forever Young" Kwok, the ever so lovely Noriko Fujiwara, and the underrated Mark Dacascos in an action-saturated film would equal a high-adrenaline action trip. I'm not sure whether it's the addition of Lee-Hom Wang or Coolio, but this is an action film that is wrapped in a pretty package but lacks any real content.

Let me get the good things off my chest before I splurge into the bad. Yes, this movie does have some interesting and sometimes entertaining action scenes. All the mediocre action is anchored by a pretty innovative and fun finale. The last twenty minutes of the film can almost make up for the hour of junk that came before it. Overall, the action really isn't anything new, but it's presented to us in a form that is actually quite fun. Too bad the action alone doesn't save this film.

Okay, when will Asian filmmakers learn? Putting an Asian actor in a film and forcing them to speak a language they barely know never has positive results! Noriko Fujiwara is pure eye candy in this movie. When she's not talking in Japanese or spitting out terribly laughable English, she's walking around in skimpy outfits with a gun and kicking with her high heels. Aaron Kwok's English is bad, but at least you can make out what he's saying without subtitles. Mark Dacascos, Coolio, and Lee-Hom Wang has perfect English. It's too bad that only Dacascos puts his English to any praise-worthy use. Coolio tries too hard to be the bad ass villian. Sure, the things he does are wicked…..but can you really picture this Nickelodeon-friendly rapper doing these terrible deeds? Well, Lee-Hom Wang just plain can't act. A scarecrow shows more emotion than him. There's also the supporting cast but they're really of no use. The only purpose they serve is either: a) eye candy, b) to die, or c) to reveal some plot twist that's suppose to make you go "Whoa! I didn't see that coming!", but you really go "Wow, how unoriginally lame."

The story is your typical cliched action film. The good guys need to prevent the bad guys from using some powerful weapon with hot chicks and fast cars showing up every now and then. Although, for some reason, towards the end of the film it becomes a character-killing rampage. I didn't expect so many people to die! The thing that disappoints me the most about this movie is that it had so much potential. The action sequences weren't too bad and a third of the cast had a decent chemistry together. Even though it failed in the plot department, it should've been a guilty pleasure. But this movie is just plain boring. I'd rather sit down slowing on a cactus naked.