Review: How in the world do I write a review for this film? Where do I begin….

There's always those directors in every era that has such an essence and greatness, that their personality is brought over to their films. An example being Martin Scorcese in the 80's with "Raging Bull" and "Taxi Driver", you always knew he had something amazing or deep coming. If you slapped his name on a film as a director, you were almost guaranteed something breathtaking. Well, what I'm trying to say is, if you saw Martin Scorcese's name as the director of a film, you wouldn't expect some teenage angst comedy or some whacky porno-esque film, just like you wouldn't expect Takeshi Kitano's name on a sex comedy, right? Right?!?!

A Takeshi Kitano film….about a guy trying to get some? Is this some typo? Did some horny director that happens to LOOK like our beloved Takeshi steal his name and slap it onto his movie full of breast? No. In fact, Takeshi Kitano is very well known for his comedy in Japan. He was part of one of Japan's most famous and beloved comedic duo's. His comedic bits were limited to the Japanese audience. The western audience never got to catch a glimpse of the softer side of Mr. Don't-talk-who-wears-sunglasses-badass. This film, a huge departure from such violent tour-de-forces as "Hana-bi" and "Sonatine", probably wouldn't have helped Takeshi's image much outside of Japan. That would explain why this Takeshi film didn't get passed around much in the international circuit.

Can Mr. Takeshi do comedy? He sure can. This is a fun goofy little film about a guy who's down on his luck and just can't get some. The film starts with one of his fantasies. A guy in a fancy car picks up a girl who's car broke down. With his fly ride and smooth mouth, he woos her into some car sex by basically saying, "You want some car sex?" After the very porno opening, we see our hero….wait wait, he's not a hero at all. In fact, he's downright horrendous. His room is covered with cut outs of naked girls. You'll never meet an protagonist quite like our man here. No sir. But I must say, you must give him a hand for pursuing so hard. You feel extreme pity for this guy, but you also loathe him because he's such a disgusting little pervert. One of the most interesting audience responses for a character portrayal is that you HOPE he doesn't get any.

Aside from being a very different Takeshi film, "Getting Any?" is a huge parody of Japanese pop culture (thus making it Asian-exclusive). If you're working knowledge of Japanese pop culture is at a minimum, then this movie will probably not appeal to you except for the few porno segments and the slapstick humor. Many Japanese movie genres like the yakuza films and samurai films are featured as comedic bits in this film. Now, are the comedic bits themselves knee-slapping funny? Eh, some. Most of the comedy in this film is slapstick. Some parts are genuinely funny, while others make you cringe (half-naked male flight attendant doing's a strip tease anyone?). The film starts off with a bang. Fresh dirty fun is thrown at us and it's pretty damn funny. The second half of the film however, drags on. At some points, the whole motivation seems to be gone! When our man becomes a hitman and an actor, the whole purpose of the film (which is getting some if you forgot) is missing. Instead, we're forced to watch a guy walk around doing odd jobs for no particular reason at all. I mean, that's not to say that those segments are humorless, I'm just saying the whole motivation of the film basically has been castrated, no pun intended. The second half of the film just drags and drags! In the final reel, such classics as "Gozilla" and "Mothra" gets poked fun of, but the segment itself just isn't that funny. That's the one flaw of this film. It starts off with a comedic bang, but runs dry by the time the credits roll. In the end, you're not sure if you want to embrace the movie or spit on it.