[KFCC] Godzilla VS Gigan Review

Story: Children's Land is a new theme park with more than meets the eye in the way of attractions. Working in the observatory of a gigantic Godzilla Tower in the heart of the park are men with interesting motives, men that aren't exactly as they appear. With the help of the Space Kaiju Gigan and King Ghidorah, they aim to establish peace on Earth through the destruction of Godzilla. Throw in Anguirus on Big G's side, sit back, and watch the fists, tails, and mazer cannons fly.

Review: GODZILLA VS. GIGAN is a tall, lumbering mixed bag of Showa era Godzilla. While the impact of the action is ultimately satisfying, it follows a near zombifying first act that might make some obsessive compulsive about checking the timer on their DVD player. By the 30 minute mark I was tapping my foot in anticipation, telling myself it was more of an excited breath-holding for Gigan's appearance than what it really was; a non-verbal shout of "Get on with it!"

Director Jun Fukuda teases us from time to time throughout this trying act. He'll play Godzilla's theme, show some sexy footage of Monster Island and its city-leveling denizens; everything short of waving a pizza in front of a starving child. Meanwhile, humdrum detective work dominates the running time. Gengo Kotaka (Hiroshi Ishikawa, "Ôgon Batto ga yattekuru") and his Kaiju drawings (Momagon and Sukra, anyone?) are about the only comic relief you're gonna get in a portion of the movie that could use more laughs and less spy games.

Speaking of Gengo Kotaka, can you think of any other movie that portrays the life of a manga-ka? Not to mention portraying it as the horrible, no work job that it is. It doesn't help that Gengo is a bottom of the barrel manga artist that comes up with creative vomit like Kaiju that represent children's darkest fear: homework! Then there's the monster of strict mothers; this guy's a real winner. I wonder why he can't get a job?

Anguirus is the first monster to brave the shores and kick start the more entertaining portion of the movie, but once Gigan and King Ghidorah fly down from space, the real fun begins. What follows is a tag team match up that rocks the hell out of Children's Land. Godzilla and Anguirus might as well slap hands and duck under ropes in a team fight that consists of everything short of the Bushwacker's patented arm chugging and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan yelling "HOOOOOOOOO!!" This is why I watch Godzilla flicks.

Somewhere in GODZILLA VS. GIGAN is a slapped together message about relying too heavily on technology. Listen closely and I swear you can almost hear a sweaty Toho writer running to the set to hand in that addition. The movie's antagonists are the victims of such a lifestyle, but does any of this matter when you'll more than likely prefer to see the characters get stomped flat by Gigan or sizzled by Ghidorah (not that you'll be so lucky)? Am I missing something by being more entertained by a TNT trap set near the end that would make Wile E. Coyote grab his crotch and die laughing? I don't think so. Maybe, in a Nihon Nostradamus move, Fukuda was preparing us for all the dry CG that would eventually start to drill its way into the genre

There'll be no such high tech shenanigans here, though. Special effects are the violent, gyrating heart of Kaiju movies, and throughout GODZILLA VS. GIGAN they range from great to ghastly in the span of seconds. The good outnumbers the disastrous for the most part, and the bad moments are more funny than appalling. Gigan trounces through skyscrapers and Ghidorah melts mazer tanks and oil refineries, but not without taking a moment to show two Barbie dolls getting blown away in their Dream House.

It's best to think of GODZILLA VS. GIGAN as an experiment, an attempt to see how exceptionally lame Toho could get away with making particular facets of the series in preparation for a proposed Godzilla TV series. This was kind of accomplished with the 1973 series ZONE FIGHTER, which ran 26 episodes and featured the G-man, with Gigan and Ghidorah showing up as well. You'll see this in awkward but hilarious moments like Godzilla "talking" with Anguirus about God knows what on Monster Island, and later in bits like the mound of indiscreetly labeled TNT boxes plastered with a crude black and white manga drawing that couldn't fool the Road Runner's palsy-stricken cousin.

You'll find more in common with GIGAN's peace corp aliens and TEAM AMERICA's portrayal of Kim Jong-il (dead serious here, you'll know when you see the ending of both) than the movie itself has with the most timeless, mind-wrecking Godzilla flicks. It may be worth watching just to see Godzilla communicate with a hung-over Anguirus through bug zapper-like frequencies. Where's Godzooky when you need him?